16 May Women in Business: Lean in? Lean Out? Stand Up Straight! A Male Perspective Part III

Posted at 08:17h in Women in Business by

mom and kid

Learning the Value of Time Shifting

I have worked with so many amazing women over my legal career. One from a number of years ago stands out. When she came to me early in her career she had a young daughter and was raising her on her own. Yet she was determined to work hard and succeed as an attorney while also being a great mom. How? First, she gave up opportunities to work in sweatshop firms where 100 hour weeks in the office were not uncommon and came to work in my shop where most of the time attorneys go home at a reasonable hour. Second, she did work hard. But not always in the office and not always during office hours.

Was I ok with this arrangement? At first I wanted to make sure she had the skills and motivation to be able to work diligently while not in the office. She did. So when there were times when her daughter had a school meeting, or a performance, or was ill, I didn’t hesitate to give her the opportunity to be there. She always made sure that she did whatever work had to be done before and after, often staying up late at home after her daughter went to sleep to get things done. She was always available 24/7 when there was a need, and made sure to be responsive when clients sought her out. And yes, she eventually became a partner after what for her was an intelligent move to another firm. And her kid was, and is, terrific, well-adjusted and quite proud of her amazing mom.

How can we make this the norm in the business world? Employers: wake up! Offer that flexibility to employees who have shown their ability to do so. Major laws firms should be just as able as anyone to offer this. Yes sometimes there are calls and meetings that are hard to avoid. But what do you do when two business meetings or issues collide? To me it’s the same, except one of the colliding forces is actually more important than the business matter. So try to reschedule that call, be accommodating to your mom employee who can’t miss her kid’s winter concert. In response, that employee will be more appreciative, happier, and more focused. Is this really that hard?

2 Comments
  • Josh Maher
    Posted at 11:27h, 16 May

    Really surprised the context of this whole post is women who parent… men parent as well, FYI.

    • David Feldman
      Posted at 10:23h, 17 May

      You’re absolutely right. But women still feel primarily responsible for child-rearing and are in fact the only ones who can be pregnant, give birth and nurse. No question dads play a very important role, which was the focus of Part II of the series. In general, though, my observation has been that in the vast majority of couples, women take the lead with the children even where both work. The hope is to begin to change the conversation so that men in couples adjust their approach and businesses do the same while women also accept the differences with men and find a way to work that sacrifices no ambition for balance.

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